So, I think to write something amazing you have to do one of many things. You could just be that good, you could stop taking medicine to let the creative juices flow, you could be innately sad, you can open your mind, you can listen to Sarah McLachlan, or do many other things. Or you can take me for example and mix a few of the things you see from the list above and merge them together, then creativity is flowing at its brim. I've had a day of melancholy, maybe its due to the fact that finals are around the corner, or it could be that I've felt so far removed from many things as of late: my athletic past, my reign of popularity, my knack to always say the right thing, my close bonds with others, my ability to always have pure and complete focus on a greater good. All of these things seem so distant to me right now. Maybe I'm just exhausted. I really think that's what it is, and I always get that time of the season sadness that envelopes me usually every dark/cold time of the year.
Why do I think the ways that I do? Why do I tend to see something different in everyone else? Sometimes I don't see the thief as the thief but the man who was supplying a need of his family. Sometimes I don't see the liar as the man who was out to get the best of someone but as the man who was in defense of his family and their welfare. I see a sad person not as a person who necessarily got hurt per se, but I see them as a person who is learning something as they are in the tunnel of progression amidst the southward winds to their face.
If you give me a notebook, or really anything for the matter, and with time I can create words that make you feel like the most amazing person in the world. I can make you feel like the most abject person on the planet, I can make you believe anything I want to. These are the powers of words.
A_____
Look above at the letter A. Just that simple letter can, with other letters attached to the end, bring about a war; it can bring about a marriage, it can bring about jealousy, it can bring about hatred, it can bring about love, it can bring about anything. THAT IS THE POWER OF A WORD. Mix this simple power with thought and you can achieve so many things in life. You can rise to the top of the business world. You can become president of the world. You can get someone to cheat on their spouse. You can do anything. Except for one thing. I believe in different forms of reality, or different spheres-yeah, that'd be the better word. I want you to close your eyes after this, act like you were deaf too, act like you had no arms. Basically I want you to get to the point where it seems like words have no effect on you. If you close your eyes you can feel a force, you can feel energy, you can feel light, you can feel spirit. In this other sphere, this is how communication takes place: not through words but through feeling and intuition. This is the only way that the word has no effect on an object. Have you ever noticed that you can't communicate with everyone you see? Drop me off in the middle of Russia and I'd be as lost as could be. The only exception would be if someone felt what I needed to convey. If I was scared, someone could comfort me in such a way to compliment it. If I was happy, I'd see other people happy. You can carry a conversation without words, it happens through emotion and through the spirit of God. What brings a certain word into existence? I need not go into it right here, maybe another time or in person. Let's chat.
Night lift up the shades
let in the brilliant light of morning
but steady there now
for I am weak and starving for mercy
sleep has left me alone
to carry the weight of unravelling where we went wrong
it's all I can do to hang on
to keep me from falling
into old familiar shoes
how stupid could I be
a simpleton could see
that you're no good for me
but you're the only one I see
love has made me a fool
it set me on fire and watched as I floundered
unable to speak
except to cry out and wait for your answer
but you come around in your time
speaking of fabulous places
create an oasis
dries up as soon as you're gone
you leave me here burning
in this desert without you
everything changes
everything falls apart
can't stop to feel myself losing control
but deep in my senses I know
Sarah McLachlan-Stupid
Its time to play guitar.
Shaun
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Fortress of Solitude
Welcome to my fortress: up a long, dark drive; far along a windy mountainous road rests me in my life. My life is crazy. Let me preface this entry with the notion that I'm feeling a little depressed because I don't know many answers to the questions my life is holding for me. So many things have happened recently that make me wonder who I am, and what I need to do right now. I wish there was black and white, how cursed be the color of grey-it always creates this ambiguous bubble around the decisions life has in store. Now I see question after question with uncertainty resting in my belly.
School has been great except for 2 of my classes. I should get straight A's except for a couple of C's in math and accounting (I sure tried, but could never get that nack for it). I think I've learned alot this semester. Alot about how to think especially...I've also learned alot of things from my religion class: its taught me what to look for in a future wife and the things I've learned have totally blown my mind and have given me a second take about how I view the whole dating/marriage process. I've also learned alot about relationships as I've been with Kelly, doing the distance relationship thing cuz she's in Hawaii, and I know now more than ever what I need as a man, as a person, and as a future leader. I don't think any relationship goes on without an argument and consistent with that notion we are just the same. We've had plenty of arguments, some big, some small, some with good reason, some over the littlest things imaginable...but out of it all I think I'm grateful for them because I've been able to learn so much about Kelly and how she reacts in certain situations as she has done the same with me. Under the gun, under pressure, we all act differently; some people put on metaphorical headphones and tune out from the world, some people set their eyes on the prize and let the consistent progression carry them through, some people conquer and gain power as they destroy, some people desire that victory and will do anything for it-sometimes in the process they lose sight of the things that give them the most strength, some people cry and stop fighting, some people give up, some people win, and some people don't even try at all.
I've learned the attributes that I want my future companion to have: she must love me, she must accept me for me, she must listen to me, she must trust, she must believe, she must have faith, she must carry the spirit, she must be on a spiritual progression upward, she must have a desire to have children, she must have the desire to be a mother, she must be willing to stand beside me in moments of sacrifice, she must motivate me to do better, she must be beautiful, she must be a person/an individual, she mustn't make fun of me, she must sacrifice, she must talk, she must be a giving person-to the needy and poor, she must teach me, she must love and listen, i know I said those already but they're so important to have.
I now face the reality of leaving for school in another state next semester: is it the right thing to do? I've prayed, I feel good. I'm ready for change. We'll see.
Time for a walk...
shaun
School has been great except for 2 of my classes. I should get straight A's except for a couple of C's in math and accounting (I sure tried, but could never get that nack for it). I think I've learned alot this semester. Alot about how to think especially...I've also learned alot of things from my religion class: its taught me what to look for in a future wife and the things I've learned have totally blown my mind and have given me a second take about how I view the whole dating/marriage process. I've also learned alot about relationships as I've been with Kelly, doing the distance relationship thing cuz she's in Hawaii, and I know now more than ever what I need as a man, as a person, and as a future leader. I don't think any relationship goes on without an argument and consistent with that notion we are just the same. We've had plenty of arguments, some big, some small, some with good reason, some over the littlest things imaginable...but out of it all I think I'm grateful for them because I've been able to learn so much about Kelly and how she reacts in certain situations as she has done the same with me. Under the gun, under pressure, we all act differently; some people put on metaphorical headphones and tune out from the world, some people set their eyes on the prize and let the consistent progression carry them through, some people conquer and gain power as they destroy, some people desire that victory and will do anything for it-sometimes in the process they lose sight of the things that give them the most strength, some people cry and stop fighting, some people give up, some people win, and some people don't even try at all.
I've learned the attributes that I want my future companion to have: she must love me, she must accept me for me, she must listen to me, she must trust, she must believe, she must have faith, she must carry the spirit, she must be on a spiritual progression upward, she must have a desire to have children, she must have the desire to be a mother, she must be willing to stand beside me in moments of sacrifice, she must motivate me to do better, she must be beautiful, she must be a person/an individual, she mustn't make fun of me, she must sacrifice, she must talk, she must be a giving person-to the needy and poor, she must teach me, she must love and listen, i know I said those already but they're so important to have.
I now face the reality of leaving for school in another state next semester: is it the right thing to do? I've prayed, I feel good. I'm ready for change. We'll see.
Time for a walk...
shaun
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Standing in the Wind
Another summer day has come and gone away in Paris and Rome but I want to go home,
Maybe surrounded by, a million people I still feel all alone, I want to go home. Oh I miss you
I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you, each one a line or two, I'm fine baby how are you?
I'd send a book, but I know that its just not enough, my words are cold and flat, you deserve more than that.
Another airplane, another sunny place, I'm lucky I know, but I want to go home
I got to go home.
Let me go home, I'm just too far from where you are, I want to come home.
And I feel like I'm just living someone else's life, it feels like I just stepped outside, when everything was going right. And I know just why you could not come along with me, this was not your dream, but you always believed in me.
Another winter day has even gone away in Paris and Rome, and I want to go home.
Maybe surrounded by, a million people I still feel all alone, I want to go home. Oh I miss you
I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you, each one a line or two, I'm fine baby how are you?
I'd send a book, but I know that its just not enough, my words are cold and flat, you deserve more than that.
Another airplane, another sunny place, I'm lucky I know, but I want to go home
I got to go home.
Let me go home, I'm just too far from where you are, I want to come home.
And I feel like I'm just living someone else's life, it feels like I just stepped outside, when everything was going right. And I know just why you could not come along with me, this was not your dream, but you always believed in me.
Another winter day has even gone away in Paris and Rome, and I want to go home.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Like A Saturday Night and Ill Be Gone...
So I'm sitting here looking back on my day, how was it? Its about 4:22 in the afternoon and I feel like nothing has happened. I got up this morning with 4 hours of sleep under my belt at 7:00 and then I had to cruise it into the UofA on my bike. While there, I I had my first philosophy discussion, and then after that I had another philosophy discussion, and right after was kinda crazy. It was raining somewhat and I was on the phone and as I was cruising, a guy didn't look back my way and he crossed the road, walked right in front of me, and I hit him pretty good. I felt like a jerk...my tire took out his leg and then the handlebars gave him a check, like totally hockey style. He said, "owww" and then apologized for getting in my way. It was my fault. So from there I went to talk with my International Business teacher's meeting. It was cool, we had a pretty good talk in Starbucks on University Blvd. Nice jazz in the background, a pleasant conversation, and we planned out my semester presentation. I'll be focusing on the history of Mexico, how it got to where its at today and also Ill be researching the drug trafficing down there. So, since I know Spanish, I'm going to interview some dealers I know and others down there in Mexico to make this presentation amazing. I'm kind of excited. Its kind of when I helped Alec with her journalism project last spring...she interviewed lots of people who I found for her and then would help in the translation process but this time the project is MINE!
After that I got a really good workout, I lifted, ran and then did some boxing. It was great, then I cruised home and talked to Kelly for a little bit and cooked, cleaned, showered, got ready for tonight. But now I sit here looking back on my day and how nothing really stood out more than anything else. I just feel like I'm not very needed, I guess I've felt like that as of recently. I try thinking of my friends and family and try to imagine how they'd do without me. It seems like theyd all get on with their lives and wouldn't be too shaken up. I'm serious though, I just don't feel like anyone really truly needs me as a person to go on. Maybe thats why I'm not a hero. Maybe thats why I'm just your normal Joe.
This past week I've been somewhat more calm than normal. I've been wondering if what I'm pursuing is the right thing: for example, my course of study...is it really what I want? The list goes on...I kinda wish sometimes I could go back and travel through time and be that little kid I once was, who enjoyed summer vacation for what it was...pure freedom, no worries, no cares. Thats what I want, I want to feel like a child in again. Maybe that'll come the day I have my own children. I don't know why I've felt so down lately, I actually haven't felt depressed like this in a few years. I'm not sure whats up. I'm not sure, sometimes a few days of that clouded pessimistic mindset take me over for no reason at all then things change!
I've decided to go to the block party on university blvd tonight, actually right now. Its gonna be sweet!
well, adieau my fellow brothers,
shaun
ps- listen to the song called Yesterday by the Beatles
After that I got a really good workout, I lifted, ran and then did some boxing. It was great, then I cruised home and talked to Kelly for a little bit and cooked, cleaned, showered, got ready for tonight. But now I sit here looking back on my day and how nothing really stood out more than anything else. I just feel like I'm not very needed, I guess I've felt like that as of recently. I try thinking of my friends and family and try to imagine how they'd do without me. It seems like theyd all get on with their lives and wouldn't be too shaken up. I'm serious though, I just don't feel like anyone really truly needs me as a person to go on. Maybe thats why I'm not a hero. Maybe thats why I'm just your normal Joe.
This past week I've been somewhat more calm than normal. I've been wondering if what I'm pursuing is the right thing: for example, my course of study...is it really what I want? The list goes on...I kinda wish sometimes I could go back and travel through time and be that little kid I once was, who enjoyed summer vacation for what it was...pure freedom, no worries, no cares. Thats what I want, I want to feel like a child in again. Maybe that'll come the day I have my own children. I don't know why I've felt so down lately, I actually haven't felt depressed like this in a few years. I'm not sure whats up. I'm not sure, sometimes a few days of that clouded pessimistic mindset take me over for no reason at all then things change!
I've decided to go to the block party on university blvd tonight, actually right now. Its gonna be sweet!
well, adieau my fellow brothers,
shaun
ps- listen to the song called Yesterday by the Beatles
Monday, September 22, 2008
El Dolor de Mi Corozon
Dear Journal,
Today was mostly an amazing day. The reunion of long past friends and amazing topics discussed at church, having an amazing meal from my mother, reading in the book of Matthew...as I, about 15 minutes ago, was reading the Sermon on the Mount, my heart was touched in a way it hasn't been touched in a long time. I came to peace with the person I am. Yes I do have faults, a good share of them, yes I'm not the smartest guy in the world, nor the most romantic nor "in" person in the world, but I am a child of God and he has sent me here, (he) has given me an Earthly home with parents kind and dear. I am so grateful for my parents and what they've done for me in my life. As I enjoyed my mothers meal that my little brother Eric dropped off for me, I realized how deep my bond is with my family. I know that we've been through so many rough experiences together as a family that we're able to overcome so many things today. Growing up, things were always tight for my Mom and Dad. My dad worked as a stone mason for a while, learning the trade...then he moved on to a local Copper Mine and became an Engineer there, then after another curve ball of my Dad being laid-off he decided to delve into owning his own business. He went on to purchase a carpet cleaning business, that didn't turn out too well, then he moved onto a temporary job of doing pest control work for my uncle in Tucson. Then after all that, after all the burnout and uncertainty, he created his own sole-proprietorship business doing the trade that he once learned way back in the day. My Dad did fairly well and developed an amazing customer base, based solely off the word of mouth as they knew my Dad would put a huge effort into his work. Well, after a while it became pretty big and he decided to go corporate and that's where its been the past few years. I'm so used to living with hardly anything, I'm used to tough times, I'm used to relying on a greater source for peace and love.
I truly am so grateful for my father and for his example. One day, around Christmas time, one of our neighbors came up with her three little girls, they were severely malnourished and my Dad pulled out of his pocket 200 bucks or so, so that they could have a Christmas. I was taught the values of charity from an early age.
I'm not sure why I'm tending to write about the things my parents have taught me, maybe because in my scripture reading this evening I was needing comfort. I was needing peace. I was needing hope. Often times I have to fall back upon the things I've learned when life gets rough, when life gets hard.
The past week or so of my life has been the hardest I've ever experienced. I've felt so alone, so disrespected, so hated, so insecure, so tired, so weak...and the list goes on. I'm not sure exactly why. Well, I guess the first big reason is because I haven't been able to see the girl I love, Kelly Jean Ingold, for about a month now. Its truly killing me. This is why I've felt so alone. I'm not sure if you, the reader, have ever felt the way that I do, but when you do your ideas begin to change, you become a different person, you start basing some of the important things in your life around another person. I had to do one of the hardest things of my life this past Monday evening as I had an interview with a gentleman. He required more of me. He made me give something up that I hold so dearly to me. I've been disrespected as a person by a few people this past week who based their views on me of the religion which I carry. I felt hated by a few people who wanted to hurt me on my bike cruising home from school, obscenities were yelled, hatred rose in the air. I've been so tired lately because I have so many classes and its so hard to balance everything perfectly. I've been so weak because of my phyisical weariness.
I guess I'm just a bit mixed up right now. I'm so sad right now for some reason...I'm not depressed but I just feel so blank.
I wish I had answers to everything. I wish I was so perfect I'd never make any mistakes. I wish I were a better person. I wish I meant more to the people that I love.
Tonight, I'm about to go to bed with many questions in my mind: what will this next week bring to me? What will I accomplish? How will I be a benefit to humanity? How can I change into becoming a better person? How can I save a love? How can I see the girl I need to be with the rest of my life? How can I fix the mistakes I've made? How can I grow? How can I help a friend?
I'm somewhat torn and sad, very contemplative of my life and the decisions I've made. Am I where I'm supposed to be today? Am I doing the things that I've been called to do?
This next week I commit myself to changing myself into a better person by a greater amount of faith, a higher amount of integrity, a greater amount of service, and a thicker heart of hope. I wish I didn't carry so much pain in my heart right now, but things come and go and whats right is right and whats good will stay.
I'm sorry to anyone I've offended in anyway. For the trials which I've made anyone ever go through. And for the mistakes I've made in my life.
I am a person and I am constantly learning.
God Be With You Till We Meet Again,
Shaun Nelson
Today was mostly an amazing day. The reunion of long past friends and amazing topics discussed at church, having an amazing meal from my mother, reading in the book of Matthew...as I, about 15 minutes ago, was reading the Sermon on the Mount, my heart was touched in a way it hasn't been touched in a long time. I came to peace with the person I am. Yes I do have faults, a good share of them, yes I'm not the smartest guy in the world, nor the most romantic nor "in" person in the world, but I am a child of God and he has sent me here, (he) has given me an Earthly home with parents kind and dear. I am so grateful for my parents and what they've done for me in my life. As I enjoyed my mothers meal that my little brother Eric dropped off for me, I realized how deep my bond is with my family. I know that we've been through so many rough experiences together as a family that we're able to overcome so many things today. Growing up, things were always tight for my Mom and Dad. My dad worked as a stone mason for a while, learning the trade...then he moved on to a local Copper Mine and became an Engineer there, then after another curve ball of my Dad being laid-off he decided to delve into owning his own business. He went on to purchase a carpet cleaning business, that didn't turn out too well, then he moved onto a temporary job of doing pest control work for my uncle in Tucson. Then after all that, after all the burnout and uncertainty, he created his own sole-proprietorship business doing the trade that he once learned way back in the day. My Dad did fairly well and developed an amazing customer base, based solely off the word of mouth as they knew my Dad would put a huge effort into his work. Well, after a while it became pretty big and he decided to go corporate and that's where its been the past few years. I'm so used to living with hardly anything, I'm used to tough times, I'm used to relying on a greater source for peace and love.
I truly am so grateful for my father and for his example. One day, around Christmas time, one of our neighbors came up with her three little girls, they were severely malnourished and my Dad pulled out of his pocket 200 bucks or so, so that they could have a Christmas. I was taught the values of charity from an early age.
I'm not sure why I'm tending to write about the things my parents have taught me, maybe because in my scripture reading this evening I was needing comfort. I was needing peace. I was needing hope. Often times I have to fall back upon the things I've learned when life gets rough, when life gets hard.
The past week or so of my life has been the hardest I've ever experienced. I've felt so alone, so disrespected, so hated, so insecure, so tired, so weak...and the list goes on. I'm not sure exactly why. Well, I guess the first big reason is because I haven't been able to see the girl I love, Kelly Jean Ingold, for about a month now. Its truly killing me. This is why I've felt so alone. I'm not sure if you, the reader, have ever felt the way that I do, but when you do your ideas begin to change, you become a different person, you start basing some of the important things in your life around another person. I had to do one of the hardest things of my life this past Monday evening as I had an interview with a gentleman. He required more of me. He made me give something up that I hold so dearly to me. I've been disrespected as a person by a few people this past week who based their views on me of the religion which I carry. I felt hated by a few people who wanted to hurt me on my bike cruising home from school, obscenities were yelled, hatred rose in the air. I've been so tired lately because I have so many classes and its so hard to balance everything perfectly. I've been so weak because of my phyisical weariness.
I guess I'm just a bit mixed up right now. I'm so sad right now for some reason...I'm not depressed but I just feel so blank.
I wish I had answers to everything. I wish I was so perfect I'd never make any mistakes. I wish I were a better person. I wish I meant more to the people that I love.
Tonight, I'm about to go to bed with many questions in my mind: what will this next week bring to me? What will I accomplish? How will I be a benefit to humanity? How can I change into becoming a better person? How can I save a love? How can I see the girl I need to be with the rest of my life? How can I fix the mistakes I've made? How can I grow? How can I help a friend?
I'm somewhat torn and sad, very contemplative of my life and the decisions I've made. Am I where I'm supposed to be today? Am I doing the things that I've been called to do?
This next week I commit myself to changing myself into a better person by a greater amount of faith, a higher amount of integrity, a greater amount of service, and a thicker heart of hope. I wish I didn't carry so much pain in my heart right now, but things come and go and whats right is right and whats good will stay.
I'm sorry to anyone I've offended in anyway. For the trials which I've made anyone ever go through. And for the mistakes I've made in my life.
I am a person and I am constantly learning.
God Be With You Till We Meet Again,
Shaun Nelson
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
1:12 am
Dear Diary,
So today I saw this girl...just kidding. I constantly am reminded of that one Britney Spears song called Diary whenever I write that in front. It starts of, "dear diary, today I saw this boy and I wonder if he noticed me as I quickly walked away..." and yes, the more of those lyrics I write the closer I get to having to turn in my man card. So for that reason alone, Ill stop.
Oh my goodness I want to see Kelly. I'm not sure what to compare it to...a dog not getting his bone...no that doesn't work, a person missing his flight...no that doesn't work either, I really can't compare it to anything. I haven't seen the girl of my dreams for a little less than a month and let me tell you, its sure killing me. Its so hard to wake up each morning without knowing she'll be beside me throughout the day. Its so hard wanting to say, Ill see you soon! and not being able to do so. It so hard sacrificing, I just want to drop everything to be with her! Who cares about school for a semester? meesh! haha, but seriously, if I could do anything in the world right now, it'd definitely be to have a few minutes with her.
To all of those who are thinking about doing the distance thing. Make sure you really love them, or else you won't be able to make it. To me, each day that we make it, shows to me even more how deep our love truly is. Its an amazing concept. Distance can make something flee or it can make something so strong, and I firmly believe that me and Kelly are getting stronger and laying the foundation for an amazing relationship down the road! So if you want to risk things and risk getting stronger, then do it. It'll be so hard, but it can be done.
Its now 1:23 and my eyes are starting to shut. I gotta sleep. Too much school these days!
Shaun
So today I saw this girl...just kidding. I constantly am reminded of that one Britney Spears song called Diary whenever I write that in front. It starts of, "dear diary, today I saw this boy and I wonder if he noticed me as I quickly walked away..." and yes, the more of those lyrics I write the closer I get to having to turn in my man card. So for that reason alone, Ill stop.
Oh my goodness I want to see Kelly. I'm not sure what to compare it to...a dog not getting his bone...no that doesn't work, a person missing his flight...no that doesn't work either, I really can't compare it to anything. I haven't seen the girl of my dreams for a little less than a month and let me tell you, its sure killing me. Its so hard to wake up each morning without knowing she'll be beside me throughout the day. Its so hard wanting to say, Ill see you soon! and not being able to do so. It so hard sacrificing, I just want to drop everything to be with her! Who cares about school for a semester? meesh! haha, but seriously, if I could do anything in the world right now, it'd definitely be to have a few minutes with her.
To all of those who are thinking about doing the distance thing. Make sure you really love them, or else you won't be able to make it. To me, each day that we make it, shows to me even more how deep our love truly is. Its an amazing concept. Distance can make something flee or it can make something so strong, and I firmly believe that me and Kelly are getting stronger and laying the foundation for an amazing relationship down the road! So if you want to risk things and risk getting stronger, then do it. It'll be so hard, but it can be done.
Its now 1:23 and my eyes are starting to shut. I gotta sleep. Too much school these days!
Shaun
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Who Picked the Fruit?
Dear Diary,
Sometimes in my life I've possessed little pockets of confusion within my being. Normally they come when a new situation comes forth. Recently, I've seen confusion hold my family in a certain way that makes me confused. I think thats the great big riddle of confusion, if you're confused...the next person becomes confused, then those people become confused and so on. Its a crazy process that happens. I often wonder, at what point did confusion enter the world? Was it when Even plucked a piece of fruit from the tree, or was it when Adam stood there, his wife ahead...holding something edible from a crazy tree inside her palm? At what point does confusion happen? I believe it is when there is a lack of communication by some part or an interference of a certain set of sounds. For example, if you were listening to a song with the lyrics, "excuse me while i kiss the sky", a common set of lyrics by Jimi Hendrix. Well, there is a huge dilemma that is a result from a certain overbearing swell of distortion that occurs during those lyrics. Resulting from it, critics have added that the lyrics really say, "scuse me while I kiss this guy." So, in congruence with my theses, we can see that because a certain lack of communication occured, a whole different idea came forth. And because there was a total different idea, people became confused as to what truly the song was trying to say.
I think in life, we all become confused. I have been, I am, I will be. I sometimes reflect upon a time when I was able to see my grandfather in his final hospital bed. He was able to talk to us a bit the first time, he was somewhat coherant, and when he put his thoughts together he told us we'd come to points in our lives where we'd wonder why, why certain things would happen, etc. I think he talked a little about confusion and why it comes.
Later on down the road, we were able to return and see my grandfather lying on his bed unconscious. His time was short. I became confused. Why would such an amazing man pass away? The lack of communication that caused me to become confused, was that I wasn't totally understanding the voice of the Holy Spirit telling me everything was okay. I later was able to look at life in a different manner. I realized that my great grandfather had passed away and I wasn't confused. It was becase I listened to a voice and I acted accordingly.
I think that is one great attribute: the gift of being able to listen. I often fail to do my part...I think anyone who has talked with me on the phone or in person will know that I often interject and thus my art of listening fails.
I chose to write about this topic because I need to listen more. I need to lessen my confusion on many topics. As I found the key to overcoming confusion, I realized I'm more happy because I know what is what, and there is no question.
Shaun Nelson
ps-listen.
Sometimes in my life I've possessed little pockets of confusion within my being. Normally they come when a new situation comes forth. Recently, I've seen confusion hold my family in a certain way that makes me confused. I think thats the great big riddle of confusion, if you're confused...the next person becomes confused, then those people become confused and so on. Its a crazy process that happens. I often wonder, at what point did confusion enter the world? Was it when Even plucked a piece of fruit from the tree, or was it when Adam stood there, his wife ahead...holding something edible from a crazy tree inside her palm? At what point does confusion happen? I believe it is when there is a lack of communication by some part or an interference of a certain set of sounds. For example, if you were listening to a song with the lyrics, "excuse me while i kiss the sky", a common set of lyrics by Jimi Hendrix. Well, there is a huge dilemma that is a result from a certain overbearing swell of distortion that occurs during those lyrics. Resulting from it, critics have added that the lyrics really say, "scuse me while I kiss this guy." So, in congruence with my theses, we can see that because a certain lack of communication occured, a whole different idea came forth. And because there was a total different idea, people became confused as to what truly the song was trying to say.
I think in life, we all become confused. I have been, I am, I will be. I sometimes reflect upon a time when I was able to see my grandfather in his final hospital bed. He was able to talk to us a bit the first time, he was somewhat coherant, and when he put his thoughts together he told us we'd come to points in our lives where we'd wonder why, why certain things would happen, etc. I think he talked a little about confusion and why it comes.
Later on down the road, we were able to return and see my grandfather lying on his bed unconscious. His time was short. I became confused. Why would such an amazing man pass away? The lack of communication that caused me to become confused, was that I wasn't totally understanding the voice of the Holy Spirit telling me everything was okay. I later was able to look at life in a different manner. I realized that my great grandfather had passed away and I wasn't confused. It was becase I listened to a voice and I acted accordingly.
I think that is one great attribute: the gift of being able to listen. I often fail to do my part...I think anyone who has talked with me on the phone or in person will know that I often interject and thus my art of listening fails.
I chose to write about this topic because I need to listen more. I need to lessen my confusion on many topics. As I found the key to overcoming confusion, I realized I'm more happy because I know what is what, and there is no question.
Shaun Nelson
ps-listen.
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